George Carlin: People Who Ought to Be Killed

Salesian School of Goshen alumnus George Carlin, best selling author of “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops” and Grammy-Award winning comedian and actor hailed for his irreverent social commentary, and the famous Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television,” died in Santa Monica, Calif., on Sunday.  He was 71. He attended the Salesian School for Boys in Goshen, New York for a short time for 7th grade. Before it was a seminary. So when it was Sing-Sing as opposed to the Alcatraz it was when I attended. Some people did some digging, and found an interview with George in Playboy where he talks about his experience with “The Brothers” [Cue the Imperial March Music from the Star Wars Movies]:

PLAYBOY: In your routines, you return constantly, almost
obsessively, to your parochial education. Did you ever attend public
high school in New York?

CARLIN: I went to George Washington High School for six months
before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even
worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still
teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky. I had one 63-day
streak.

PLAYBOY: That’s quite a streak.

CARLIN: Yeah, and I didn’t count weekends or holidays.

PLAYBOY: Would you describe yourself as a problem student?

CARLIN: I was a discipline problem, and I never did homework.

PLAYBOY: What sort of trouble did you get into?

CARLIN: When I was in seventh grade, I was caught stealing money
from the visiting team’s locker room during a basketball game. So I
was sent to The Brothers. That’s what they called this parochial
school up in Goshen, New York. I was supposed to get closer
supervision there and more “masculine influence,” whatever that
means. But I was thrown out for telling a couple of really lame kids
on the playground that I had heroin.

PLAYBOY: Did you?

CARLIN: It was just a joke, but back I went to my old school, where
all the kids I’d been with for eight years were about to graduate.
But the sisters wanted me to repeat the whole term; so I went to the
principal and pleaded with her to allow me to graduate with my class.
She finally agreed on the condition that I write the graduation play.
It was called How Do You Spend Your Leisure Time? Catchy title, huh?
But, once again, I was rewarded for my cleverness, my show-business
skills.

PLAYBOY: Even before adolescence, the essential themes of your
adult life and work were pretty clearly laid out: humor, rebellion,
and drug use.

CARLIN: And the patterns became even more vivid at Cardinal Hayes
High School. That’s when I began failing subjects and running away
from home for days at a time.

Rest in Peace George.