Spiritual Betrayal – An Introduction

This article intends to be an introduction to a series of articles I will be writing on the topic of spiritual betrayal. Before I present the individual articles, I think the starting point is to define this concept. Any sort of abuse or betrayal of one individual by another can be harmful and painful, Such examples include revealing information that a friend told you in confidence, infidelity in a marriage or a relationship, plagiarism or taking credit for other people’s labors, claiming affection for someone when the affection is false, physical abuse by spouse or stranger. At one time or another, we have all been betrayed and felt the pain of that. It is not merely a disappointment. It was a promise made and a promise broken. Sometimes we have also been betrayers. We are all human. But betrayal is one of the dark corners of human nature. But no form of betrayal can be darker than spiritual betrayal.
In addition to relationships, friendships, business associations, school colleagues, and artistic partnerships, betrayal can manifest itself in ones spiritual life. While betrayals by friends and spouses and lovers and potential lovers cannot be minimized, there is one betrayal that cuts the deepest – Spiritual Betrayal. Spirituality can be an important part of a person’s life; it may even be the piece that completes the puzzle of mind, body and emotions. They may develop this in a religion they were brought up with, or in discovering a new church or spiritual path that through which they find fulfillment. Be it a church, or some of the newer spiritual paths that are arising now, or the guidance from a psychologist, spiritual or religious mentor, a career mentor or coach, what arises is a relationship based on trust. Trust in a higher power, a higher energy, God, whatever you wish to call it. But that holy trust, that sacred trust is usually represented in the form of the relationship between that of a teacher (priest, minister, rabbi, coach, spiritual counselor, guide, psychic, psychologist) and seeker (congregant, pupil, follower, initiate, worshiper).
This relationship involves engaging in dialogue, often of a very personal nature. It involves dispensing advice, The student looks to the teacher as a guide. The teacher, minister, is often looked up to as an instrument of God’s own will and persona. The role of the spiritual leader and follower is an intense relationship. Often the leader is guiding the student through a personal change or crisis, presides over moments of sheer joy and profound sorrow. They provide counsel to those who feel their lives are directionless and give encouragement and support when one is confused. The assumption is that this is done out of selfless love. But mentors, spiritual leaders and guides are humans, and some driven by their own darker motivations, including absolute control, the feeling of self worth tied to having a core of disciples, and the feeling of power that they can exert over followers or students.
The student or follower comes to accept the teacher as the deliver of truth. The student confides in the teacher his or her deepest fears, insecurities and dreams. Depending on the organization or structure of the relationship, the student may become very dependent on the teacher, and their whole self-esteem is tied to the approval of the leader. Several studies have been conducted examining this dynamic and the effect that betrayal has on the one who has been betrayed.
Betrayal experiences come in many forms – betrayal of a confidence, overexertion of power and control, misuse of authority to the detriment of the student, building up ones hopes and then tearing them down, sexual, emotional or physical abuse, false teachings, escalating fees for services, levels of spiritual fulfillment obtained by the exchange of money and time, secret information only divulged by those with the money or those deemed worthy, usually secret information that is not that secret at all. The three articles, which will be published over the next few weeks, will examine the long-term personal and spiritual effects of spiritual betrayal on those involved in spiritual journeys. Many different resources and personal interviews have revealed a common denominator in the affects of the devotee who has been violated and betrayed by a spiritual guide. The affects are similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder – low-self esteem, self doubt, trust issues, panic and anxiety, addiction, depression. The stories I have heard and read clearly indicate that despite concrete data, many spiritual movements, particularly self-empowerment movements, churches, and other spiritual venues carry the risk of exploitation by the leader or mentor to the student. Lies and fabrications are made up to draw the pupil further into the group, often resulting in severe financial and emotional circumstances. When students grow or question a teacher’s methods, the teacher clearly gets angry and feels threatened by the newly empowered student. Forced sexual acts or abuse are couched in terms of spiritual growth and awakening, and sometimes are used to shame the student, or they are told that it was a growing experience that connected them with God at a higher level. But the ultimate consequence of spiritual betrayal is that once it occurs, one’s connection with the divine, or the source, or the support they received from the mentor – is frayed if not disconnected altogether. The student feels abandoned, betrayed and cut off. This effect is nothing short of what author Leonard Shengold describes in his book on childhood abuse and deprivation – soul murder.
In the following days and weeks, The Libertad Blog will be completely devoted to this important topic. There will be interviews with survivors of Spiritual Betrayal, experts in the field of recovery from this trauma, and also, an expose of those who are perpetrators. If there is testimony or evidence, names will be named. To coin a phrase from therapist and author Patrick Carnes, it’s time for Spiritual Betrayal to come “out of the shadows”